Let's start with this

Hello everyone!

It's been weird coming back to blogging. I started right around the time I was 18. (Yeah I looked. Yeah I was so weird back then.) I recently made a decision that has changed my life even more. It's probably been the scariest decision I've ever made. I came out publicly as a gay Mormon. Or better yet, I opened up to the entire world that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I am also gay.

One of my favorite pictures of me in my mission in Mexico City

I had been debating for MONTHS to actually come out. I had discussions with my therapist multiple times about it. He was one of the biggest godsends I have received in getting help for my mental health and my homosexuality. We quickly went through therapy and at the last session I sobbed like a baby because I didn't want my time with Roy to end, but it had come to that point. He had told me though, "Dallin, don't just come out to come out. That's not fair to you and you can't take it back."

Bless Roy's heart. He was so right. The idea though stuck in my head. My parents were trying to move and I, finally, felt like yes I was ready to get my own place. So I started looking for a condo and I found one in Eagle Mountain. As my amazing realtor (literally guys she's the freaking best and such a great person) and I kept working through the details, I wondered to myself what I should do. Stay quiet and in the closet or come out. Maybe those weren't the only two options I really had, but that's what it felt like. After having discussions about it with Heavenly Father and having received council from a member of my YSA stake presidency about coming out, I knew I would be coming out. I asked when.

My answer: Soon

My feelings: Well how soon is SOON? Like, your kinda day or my kinda day? Because, Heavenly Father, as i'm sure you know those are VASTLY different. I'm sure he just chuckled at me and smiled.

Again I got the answer, "Soon."

On my way to an institute choir performance to see one of my best and closest friends and confidants David perform, I was talking to Heavenly Father again about it and he said, "I want you to come out tonight." I froze. I then wished that soon had been his day timewise. I texted David after his performance and told him I'd be coming out at 9:30 that night. Since he had another performance and it would be done by 9:00 I hoped he would see it in time. He texted me and sent me the sincerest, most loving text about supporting me and how excited he was. He also testified about how the Lord loves me so much.

David and I at Black Panther opening night.

After texting some other close friends, calling some and coming out to them at that point, and rewriting my coming out story for the 100th time, I posted it on facebook. I slammed my laptop shut and Roy's voice rang in my head, "you can't take it back." I had such a panic attack I paced the kitchen and texted my friends that I had no idea what I was doing and it's too late. I even went to facebook to see if I could delete it before anyone saw. 5 people had already loved it and even commented.

Guys, I cried so hard. Over this week I have received messages, texts, and comments on that post. I expected so many things, but I am awestruck by how much love and kindness I've received.

Yes I know. I was the most adorable baby ever.

Within this first week I've even been told, "I don't know how that's even possible to be a gay mormon." Before I could respond, this guy's girlfriend and the girl next to her both just gestured to me with their hands like, "well obviously THIS is how." It made me feel good and I went on to help him understand the inability to change certain things. I am constantly amazed by how much I don't know. How much we all don't know and understand. I feel intimidated by how much we don't know but how much we'll be able to know and learn.

Things about me:

Mexico has my heart as well as the people in it.
I love food. Just can't have spicy food #ulcers (Also, fish is disgusting)
Youngest of 5 kids (My siblings will point out that I do mention I am the tallest)

Parangaricutirimicuaro was one of the hardest words I learned on my mission

Born in South Carolina

Depending on the doctor you ask, i'm 6'2, 6'3, or 6'4.

I'm an avid fan of Avatar the Last Airbender

I love my Heavenly Father so much.

I'm Mormon

I'm gay
I love being both