Are you an exception in the gospel?

For years I have noticed "exceptions" on certain doctrines in the church from members and I really wish we didn't set them. The basic example I can use is if someone is exempt from repentance or the need to repent just because we know only certain aspects of their lives. Once upon a time I was 13 years old. I was in Sunday School and we were talking about Joseph Smith Jr. The subject came up of how Joseph had chewed tobacco and smoked. I, the brave but also naive teenager, stood up for Joseph and said he did not. I grew up knowing smoking and chewing tobacco was against the Word of Wisdom, so how could a prophet, who is "practically perfect in every way," participate in such obvious sin? One of the other young men then asked the teacher for confirmation. He wanted to verify who was right. The teacher looked at me and said that Joseph DID participate in such acts. What? My world was shaken.

Sparkler time with Erykah at Braden's mission call opening

Having grown since then, I have met many wonderful, amazing, and beautiful people who smoke and chew tobacco. I no longer think that someone who does either of those things means they qualify themselves as a bad person. As a young man at that time though, I couldn't believe what I'd been told. Wasn't Joseph like, top notch?! How could HE do THAT? He could, and he did up until he received the revelation of the Word of Wisdom. My mind had given Joseph an exception of the ability to do anything wrong.

In many ways, we have a habit on putting a condemned or saved picture of people, especially ones we don't personally know. Modern times are different than the past. We have many examples, but we don't take the time to step back and take a look at the big picture. We need to understand we are not assigned, nor or are we authorized to be judges of someone's divine destination. Some people are set apart to judge, but that is not up to us to decide where someone will end up. That is for one and only one.

Fast forward about 5 years after learning about Joseph and I was now listening to claims about his wife. I heard someone say, "Emma Smith went through so much that it doesn't matter if she left the church. She's DEFINITELY going to the celestial kingdom." I also heard, "She knew it was true and she left, so she's definitely NOT going to the celestial kingdom." Honestly, I struggle with both of these statements. I believe that salvation will come by our true and honest desires. I believe that it will only be at the moment of judgment that we will make that full and final decision. This life will have its consequences, that's for sure so we aren't able to just "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!". I just don't believe that WE can fully know the details of that final decision for ourselves and especially for someone else. Emma did struggle. Her life was horrifically challenging and painful. She lost her relationship with her parents, lost friends, lost many children (some within hours of birth), and bore the tortures and pressures as wife of Joseph. After all of that, she even lost Joseph himself. It sounds like something that would personally break me.

When someone says Emma will 100% be in the celestial kingdom JUST because of her hardships, I think, what would have happened if Christ himself had said in the Garden of Gethsemane, "You know what, I can't do this. I won't do this, and I'm done." What would have happened? The entire plan would have been undone in a single night. We would then live forever in our sins and in misery.

Salvation is not dependent on the struggles you go through and how hard they are, but through the merits, hope, and mercy of our Savior and by our own decision to follow him.

When someone says she will definitely NOT get into the celestial kingdom, I ask myself, does this person not believe in repentance? Do they not believe in mercy, but justice alone? How cruel of a world, of a plan, and of a future that would be. I cannot believe that my Heavenly Father would condemn like that and say, "Sorry Emma, ya dun messed up."

One of my favorite snapchats ever received from my friend Sammie

Laman and Lemuel are specific examples that have been on my mind for the past year and a half. We know they were the sons of the prophet who struggled with following the word of the Lord, but have you ever wondered what if Laman and Lemuel have repented by now? It's been over 2,000 years since they passed away. They could have been some of the first to go to Christ when he visited those in spirit paradise and prison. They could have fallen on their knees and begged for forgiveness. They could have been forgiven. They could even now be doing missionary work as hard as ever shoulder to shoulder with Nephi to the spirits who don't believe. Could they not be crying repentance to those in spirit prison? Could they also be loving, learning and teaching? What if they've converted hundreds, thousands, or millions because they knew how to reach others' hearts for the sole reason that they have been where others have been? Yet in many settings we talk about how they were spoiled children and were horrible because they didn't follow everything with exactness. I tried to search for scriptures on where Laman and Lemuel were actually praised and mentioned them following the Lord. They are few, but they are there. I look at myself and wonder how people would speak of me if they only knew the negative. If all of you could see were the times I wasn't a kind person, the times I got easily frustrated, or the times I wanted to forsake being a part of this church, what would you think? If that is all you saw of me, what would you do? What if the only thing you knew about me was that I was gay?

When you hear, "Well, she's a lesbian, so you might want to steer clear of her." Do you agree? Do you avoid eye contact because she could cause problems? Or do you think that it's only one aspect of her? Do you wonder how many lives she's blessed and how her kind hand might have stayed the intentions of a suicidal friend? Do you wonder how she can help others in and out of the gospel JUST because she knows what it's like to be alone?

You don't know the power that someone has until you see them perform goodness in the world.

Snow Cone Adventures with Kylie and Jack

You don't see the inspiration a person feels and can have until you have talked with them and seen the light of fire in their eyes to continue despite their trials they have had in their lives. That is just the beginning, so even then, you don't know the half of someone solely based off of one fact.

You cannot fully understand what being gay, having anxiety, having Hidradenitis Suppurativa, being raped, having your child pass away, being abused, divorce, or the many more trials in this life unless you live them.

But! You can learn. You can listen. You can love.

You can truly try and that will mean the world.

O brother (or sister, or friend, or human), where art thou?

Are you struggling? Are you happy? Are you fighting your own good fight? Do you feel like you're losing? Do you see yourself getting stronger? Are you being abandoned? Are you being welcomed?

You are important. You might have been through dips, be in a dip, or will be going through more dips, but I know you can do it. I know that because I've been able to do it. To quote Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "You are stronger than you realize. You are more capable than you can imagine."

I beg of you, whoever reads this, to not look at a person and base their future because of stories you know, experiences with others, or by one factor that to you defines them. Don't judge them according to one sin or even one difficulty they must face in life (those are two separate things) You will have many missed opportunities. You will miss many miracles.